Let's take a vote:
Am I mean? Yes or no.
sawxxx asked: Why are you mean to guys that actually just want to get to know you
Thank god for vibrators.
transcendentalhedonist asked: So did you get tattooed? Let's see that shit. :-)
About to get tattooed
My brother and his wife are the cutest.
Falling asleep with the window open listening to the rain has got to be one of life’s sweetest pleasures.
jloko666 asked: Lest kik I'm always horny...lokito666
invariantculture asked: I don't know if I could simulate a shower head, but I'm pretty good with my tongue. Give me a call if you and your shower head ever take a break ;)
adammmm1994 asked: I'm 19 you fuck whit
adammmm1994 asked: i want to be your showerhead
I'm in a committed relationship with my shower...
Painted my nails. Forgot to take off pants first.
dorkinthefreakkingdom asked: Excitable cat-friends
Put a word inside my inbox
lilylighting: And I’ll tell you a fact about myself based off that word
lnht09-deactivated20130517 asked: I would lather soap all over your body slowly but rough enough to leave you a bit red rinse you off and run my hands all over to make sure you are completely rinsed and as the tub fills up I give you kisses everywhere especially your neck down to your breast,tummy and your inner thighs
thatdudecj asked: if you could have super powers what would they be and what would your superhero name be?
Destined to sleep in a dog sandwich for all of eternity.
My friend just kicked me in the cunt. brb, going to birth a foot baby.
1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?
2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:
3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:
4: Something that never fails to make you horny:
5: Where is one place you would never have sex:
6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when ______________
7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:
8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:
9: What is the fastest way to make you horny:
10: Top or bottom?
11: We were about to ____________ but then ______________ [example: we were about to have sex but then his mom walked in]
12: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?
13: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:
14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:
15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:
16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:
17: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]
18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:
19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?
20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:
21: How big is too big:
22: One sexual thing you would never do:
23: Biggest turn on:
24: Three spots that drive you insane:
25: Worst possible time to get horny:
26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:
27: Worst sexual idea you ever had:
28: How much fapping is too much fapping:
29: Best sexual complement you ever got:
30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:
31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut:
32: Fill in the blank: "If they ____________, we are fuckin"
33: What your favorite part of your body:
34: Favorite foreplay activities:
35: Love (>,<, or =) Sex For those of us who don’t remember our math thats “greater than, less than, or equal to]
36: What do you wear to bed?
37: When was the first time you masturbated:
38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?
39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?
40: Have/would you ever have sex outside?
41: Have/would you ever had a threesome?
42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?
43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school?
44: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?
45: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?
46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?
47: Most attractive celebrity?
48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?
49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now?
50: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?
51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?
52: Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?)
53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)
54: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?
55: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?
56: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?
57: Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?
58: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)
59: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?
60: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?
61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?
62: Do you watch porn?
63: How small is too small?
64: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?
65: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?
66: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?
67: Do you feel comfortable going "commando"?
68: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn't shaved their pubic hair?
69: If you could give yourself head, would you?
70: Booty or Boobs?
71: If you had a penis/vagina, what would you name it?
72: Have you ever been on an official date?
73: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)
74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?
75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)
76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?
77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina
78: If you had a penis/vagina for a day, what are five things you would do?
queensassyofthefatties: I think this year I’m not going to make it about finding someone to date really. I think this year I want to explore my sexuality and kinky side. I logged back onto my fetlife account after basically a year of inactivity. Joined local groups and now gonna go to a Munch. Socialize and stuff, yeah? C: Also Sarah’s gonna go with me cause you know I wanna be safe...
I wonder if you want to be laying next to me, like I want to be laying next to you.
doncasturbate: my sense of style is “fuck im late” “what is this” “i love this shirt im gonna wear it for 2 weeks straight”
bootycaller: boys who aren’t hopelessly in love with me…….. first of all how dare you
Send me 'HAVE YOU EVERS' and I will reply with YES...
The kids I nanny went to bed, but I’m still watching finding nemo.
… and we are in bed together laughing and we don’t care about anything …– Charles Bukowski (via beatboxgoesthump)
I'm going to become one giant freckle.
Random sleep deprived thoughts:
When I squeeze my pug she makes noises. Why did I drink that cup of coffee? I really need to get some patience. Ugh. I’m sorry and feel stupid. My lab is way too good at spooning until she does something weird like lick my armpit. Do I know the muffin man? What’s for breakfast? Cartoons. Candy. Was my tattoo artist serious about the “just bring me $50 so I can tattoo you...
Also can we just talk about how much it fucking sucks to hold your 11 year old dog while your brother puts him to sleep.
You don’t like dogs? Boy byeeeeeeeee. Forever single. That’s why I like my dogs more than you. Sorry not sorry.
First World Problems:
Finished my research paper, but can’t fall asleep because I took an adderall.